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Annoying Britney Spears Sculpture in the News

By March 28, 2006

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Image courtesy Send2Press.comA press release came in, as many often do, but this had a rather sensational headline trumpeting an upcoming sculpture dedication honoring "Nude Britney Spears Giving Birth" yadda-yadda "Monument to Pro-Life." "Nude Britney Spears" and "Pro-Life" in the same sentence? Two wildly disparate demographic birds with one stone? I could hardly believe my eyes. Search engine jackpot, and with art, no less! After roughly a nanosecond's internal debate, I gave in and looked (and, come on, you know you would have been tempted, too).

Well! What we've got here is ... interesting. I think. And I must disclaim that I (1) completely "get" and support artistic license, and (2) am terrible working in 3-D, so take this with a grain of salt. But I find this sculpture annoying for the following reasons:
  • I lowered myself and looked at it.

  • The "Pro-Life" hook is an amazingly flimsy publicity ploy. Just do, please, be honest and stick with the "Nude Britney Spears" angle.

  • The artist, apparently, can sculpt a good likeness, and needn't resort to cheap gambits such as "Nude Britney" or "Ted Williams' Severed Head."

  • The artist - who was considerate enough NOT to show another shot of this piece, described as "the baby's head crowning" - has, apparently, never witnessed a real live woman giving birth:

    • We don't point our feet daintily like ballerinas when push, literally, comes to shove, no matter how many years we've worked with top choreographers. We use them to brace ourselves.

    • The back ... Buddy, no woman's back is in even a remotely seductive concave pose when the baby's head is crowning. Think: "Dog passing peach pits."

    • The bearskin rug is inspired, if somebody was stupid enough to ruin a bearskin rug with the vast array of involuntary bodily functions that accompany giving birth. And its taxidermied bear head? Would be twisted clean off at this point by the Happy Mother-to-Be. Unless she'd already had some very nice drugs in an I.V. I'm just saying.

  • Britney Spears had, I believe, a C-section.

  • I lowered myself and looked at it.
Other than that, it works as art for me.

Comments

April 4, 2006 at 3:42 pm
(1) John Q. Public says:

Enough said !!!!!!

April 8, 2006 at 1:35 am
(2) Greg says:

I find the debate over Britney Spears life size sculpture amusing as no one news service (that I’m aware of) has the guts to show the full sculpture in all its glory for fear of offending the extreme right !! Side shots, front shots BUT never rear shots of the sculpture shown on the Internet or in any print media. How hung up are we still (21st century) over sexuality, birth and the natural display of genitalia?

Cheers

Greg

April 9, 2006 at 4:59 pm
(3) Mary says:

Dear Greg,

Having seen this sculpture in color AND IN THE ROUND on television, I just had to go to Brooklyn to see it in-person, displayed appropriately on a piece of plywood and two carpenter’s horses, to realize how thoroughly revolting and preposterous it actually is.

April 11, 2006 at 1:30 pm
(4) Linda says:

Shelley–
Brilliant and witty writing on your part. Yes, indeed, it doesn’t deserve the ink!
Linda

April 17, 2006 at 10:06 pm
(5) Helen South says:

Oh, Shelley, you really crack me up! You’re so right (esp. the bit about ripping the bear’s head off… chuckle….)

I’d like to think it was making a point about the bizarrely unreal expectations we have of celebrities. But no, its just… disturbingly misguided. At best.

August 24, 2006 at 6:19 pm
(6) Shawn Kearney says:

What’s up with the bearskin rug? The posture seems odd to me. Is this some kind of hidden statement about the pro-life movement – that they are willing to sacrifice the life of an animal for the decadance of the rich and famous lifestyle yet unwilling to sacrifice the life of an unborn fetus regardless of circumastance?

I myself am pro life … and very anti bad art.

October 13, 2007 at 4:01 pm
(7) Neo says:

Art is truly in the eye of the beholder, all our art is hand made in the US, much of our nude male statues and nude female

statue art is from the Roman and Greek period. The Roman Statue and Greek Statues are very tasteful and elegant. We at Neo-Mfg.com

can not discount this art as it is very well done, just can not see it on display in someone’s home. Art is in the eye of the beholder and we are sure it is just a monument.

Always remember American Freedom to express yourself

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