2005 Art in Review: Worst Museum Merchandising

Every now and then, I write something purely for the fun of it. Properly entitled "Top 10 Least Impressive Museum Merchandising Ideas of 2005," this should, perhaps, be more accurately named "Crazy Stuff I Found When I Was Researching Something Totally Different and More Serious." Several eye-popping museum gift shop items leaped off the page, I choked a few times (what with the simultaneous laughing/swallowing liquids physiology I will never, ever get straight) and then, as so often happens in life, the genesis of a list evolved. And grew. And then had to be limited, due to such a fabulous wealth of choices.

On the matter of dubious taste, please note that I've cheerfully acknowledged that we all commit these little faux pas, pointing out my own, misguided "vintage bowling shirt" phase - but could have just as easily reminisced about those hideous disco pants or that time I "streaked" my Plain Old Brown hair to Bozo the Clown Orange while shooting for Blondes Have More Fun. None of this was intentionally mean-spirited or truly snarky. (Note #2: Look for The Kids to officially drop the word "snarky" from their lexicon, now that I have acted as if middle-aged women can use it.)

I plan to purchase at least four of the 10 items, which are, to me at least, so weird they're oddly attractive. (Gift choices galore for you Lowbrow fans!) Please do enjoy yourselves. And have some more high-octane eggnog, though you may find it prudent not to actively sip while clicking on the links. Word, um, to the wise.